Too Busy/Tired/Anxious/Annoyed for Quality Time with the Kiddos? 5 Things to Do Right Now
I can see it coming. I can see my patience thinning out before my eyes. My girls want my attention and I just want help. Or I just want to be left alone. Or I just want them to play on their own. If you're going to keep your sanity, you need to learn how to balance work and family. Your needs are important.
I see it coming. I lose my patience far more quickly than I wish for. I yell or raise my voice. I see my mom in me. She was tired. She far more tired than I ever knew. She would get upset and frustrated. But I also see, she didn't take care of herself, in the ways we now know we need to. Times are different now.
I see my frustration grow as I get more and more tired. In my heart, I want to soak up the precious time with my girls. Yet there in the day as we run from one activity to the next, the quality time becomes survival time. When this happens, when I see that part of my mom in me, that tired part. I know it's happening. I know I need to make a change.
Below are a few thoughts on what changes help me. Maybe they will help you.
1. Don't Worry About Them. Worry About You.
I know that's harder said than done but now is the absolute most important time to start thinking about you again.
Take a deep breath.
Give yourself a break.
Give yourself a moment.
Put the cartoons on and leave the room.
Tell your kids you will be back and to focus on... anything else.
I know I am no good to be around when I am over tired. This is when I am my most cranky and most frustrated. This is when I yell. This is the most important time to take care of myself. To treat myself. If I don't take care of myself, I can't do a good job of taking care of the family. If I don't take care of myself, how are my kids going to learn that they need to take care of themselves too? If I don't take care of myself, what example am I setting?
I not only need to survive the day but I really want to thrive in it.
And that starts at home.
2. Get Rest.
For me, I know I need rest. I need more and more rest. Rest is what refreshes my body and soul. It's amazing how good you can feel with a good night's sleep. It's that thing that you must fight for. This is where you make good choices for yourself. I know I have to go to bed by a certain time to get my ideal amount of sleep in. There are periods of time when I go to sleep late because we have friends over or I want to spend that extra time with my husband or I have work deadlines coming. We all have busy seasons and slow seasons. The point is that with rest, you can manage through the easier. With rest, you a making a conscious decision to take care of yourself.
As a matter of fact, Arianna Huffington, you know as in THE HUFFINGTON POST, wrote The Sleep Revolution countering the age old thought that sleep was a time waster. Where studies show it (lack of proper sleep) hinders our health, growth and even sex lives.
Here's the other thing, if you are actually going to try any of these recommendations out then let me also add in that you (at least) fall asleep to this evening guided meditation. It is such a wonderful way to end the day.
The guide, Dr. Joe Dispenza, helps you settle down on the day, reflect on the day, get excited about tomorrow and forgive yourself for the errors in your day. I started with this twice a day guided meditation at the beginning of the year based on a recommendation by my beloved coach and haven't looked back since. LOVE LOVE LOVE it.
When you move, your body releases energy. When you move, your body creates endorphins. Endorphins talk with your brain and tells it to reduce the pain. When you move you shake off the things that are stuck within your body. When you move you change your present self. Take a walk. Do some jumping jacks. Or do what I do and throw on some good music!!
When you dance you change your energy! Allow yourself that!
It should come as no surprise to you that one of my go-to songs is Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys!
4. Do One Fun Thing.
Set the timer for 5 minutes. And then go!
Race down the hall with your kid! Blare the music! And do some funny dance moves! Jump out of your comfort zone. Let yourself have fun. You're exhausted, I know, let it. go. Let them play with you how they want. (You can set the timer here too.) Make up funny words and meanings with them.
Say YES! and let yourself enjoy it! Whatever is fun or funny or easy. Have dessert before dinner. Connect. 5 minutes will be good for your soul.
5. Try Again Tomorrow
Give up. Tell the day - you. are. done.
My husband has certainly come home from his work to a dark, disastrous house. My mother liked to put lipstick on for her husband before he came home from work. I sometimes think it's a miracle I survived the day, especially when the girls were little. There certainly have been times when my husband has come home and I am sitting on the sofa with no lights on, trash tv in the background and I was just done.
That's okay too. Get your rest, take care of yourself. Do what you've got to do. No one said balancing work and family was going to be easy. Give yourself that permission and try again tomorrow!